MIR and MIND

8.6.09

Sometimes i feel like i've been thinking tooooo far. like, i should find my prince. i should get a job from now on. i should be SKINNY! i should this and that..

i found it very tiring..

Well, i (think) do have a boyfriend. we used to laugh and cry together. but now it's kinda different. we live in a very different world. i feel like i'm 12yrs older than him.

is it me or the world is being different?

Seeing other people's (read : my friends) life - love life - makes me more scared. they're like already find their prince and so do the prince. they'd do whatever the command is. they love each other.

what about me?

We have a lotsa lotsa thing in common. but since i moved to univ we're like having a little misunderstanding dan pikiran yang beda banget,well ga banget banget banget sih. tapi yang paling esensial sih ya itu, we were fighting like a bitch!

I know i have many bad behaviour. i realized that, and really, trust me, i wanna change. but Mr. Mars, i hope you understand my feeling also. bukannya mau ngebandingin bos, tapi apa kita ga bisa sedikit menyerupai pasangan-pansangan normal di luar sana?

Last night my friend asked me , "Lo bisa ngeliat lo dan dia ga 10 tahun yang akan datang?" then i said , "I do! I really do! gue bisa ngeliat disana suami gue yang baru pulang dari kantor, ngambil kemeja kantornya yg berserakan di lantai, ditemenin sm anjing golden retriever yg lagi males2an di atas lantai kayu rumah kita...." and so on, and so on.

*sniff*

Honestly, gue pengen banget bisa kawin sama lo (see, how pathetic i am). to be your wife, to be your saviour, to be your consultant, to be your first lady you can lean on. gue tau banget gue harus berubah. change my bad bad behaviour yang sekarang udah makin bikin lo ga tahan sama gue.

But please, give my more time will you?

I just begin my new life by entering univ. emng sih udah 1thn, tapi mungkin gue bukan tipe orang yang bisa adaptasi dan nyaman hanya dengan waktu sepersekian bulan. gue yakin kita akan ngalamin ini lagi karena skrg giliran lo yg masuk kuliah. tapi lo jauh lebih dewasa dari gue dan gue rasa lo bisa lebih wise dalam proses adaptasi lo.

gue janji mau rubah sifat jelek gue

Tapi lo juga ya? ga cuman gue yg punya kesalahan, we both did. aku ga nuntut kamu macem2 kok kamu juga jangan.

Terkadang kalo kita berantem apalagi berantem hebat, kata 'itu' udah gatel pengen keluar dari leher gue. but i dont want to make a same mistake..

I'm scareddddddddddd

2:55 AM